here are a couple of pics taken during the live broadcast I was doing on ustream.tv Friday evening from the top of a parking garage in the medical center. thanks to glimsmack for capturing the images for…uh…posterity…I guess.
here’s what the scene looked like:
and here’s a (digitally smudged) image of the badge I was wearing:
well, at least we were entertained.
last night I had a few shots of patron, wrote a few pages of thoughts in the dark, and then fell asleep. the temperature was nice – even a bit cool – but I still didn’t sleep that well.
we were supposed to go to work today, so I dutifully went. not much of anything got accomplished, although we did get to compare hurricane experiences. most people seemed to think they had had enough of a hurricane experience. I, however, still wanted more. (they seemed to find that odd or perplexing.) the company provided free pizza for lunch. at the end of the day, i left work and came home, took a nap, then went and ate at the house of pies. now I’m home again. still no power. so this is from my iPhone.
this is getting old. and by “this” I don’t mean not having power. that’s kind of annoying at times, but it’s not that big of a deal. sometimes I just get tired of trying, of keeping on for the sake of keeping on. doesn’t sometimes it just sort of feel like maybe life doesn’t have anything more left in its goody bag? maybe it’s just me. maybe I’m just not cut out for making the best of things. or seizing opportunities. or creating my own opportunities. or even just making due. I’m like woody Allen in his movies, except I’m not even funny. (some would argue he’s not funny either.)
anyway. I’ll shut up now, instead of giving other people fodder for worry, derision, pep talks, or whatever. (and I’m not going to approve comments about any of this last stuff so don’t bother typing it. humorous comments excepted, of course.)
Every year I lived in Houston, I found myself looking forward to hurricane season because it could finally be the year I got my “hurricane experience”. I guess I wanted the challenge of dealing with the flooding, damage, etc. I missed out on Alicia in 1983 because my family was on vacation in California. I always felt cheated after that. I got a pretty destructive tropical storm in Allison, but never the big one. Now that I live in Seattle, maybe I can have my earthquake or volcano experience.
Here’s some lyrics which came to mind when reading this post. It fits both the failure theme (a la “I can seize today tomorrow”) and even the hurricane (“rain falls so hard its leaving bruises on the streets”): Even reminds me of the apartment I shared with Dave at A&M (“sad picture frames lying angry on the floor; Remind me how i said i’d hang you up the year before”). It’s also the first known written record of the getting-to-Heaven-by-pure-luck gospel.
It’s from a friend of mine in Austin’s band:
Mr. Lewis and the Funeral 5. You can catch this song on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuOdff5ORe8&feature=related
May your soul rise to heaven
May your soul rise to heaven
Oh may your soul rise to heaven
May your soul rise to heaven before the devil knows you’re dead
Black coffee night settle down and let me sleep
Cracks in the wall laughing at me while the windows weep
Rain falls so hard it’s leaving bruises on the street
As i pine for the day when i’m not so overwhelmed
And overlooked like so much good advice
I can seize today tomorrow… probably
Or crack a smile and try to sing
May your soul rise to heaven
May your soul rise to heaven (may your soul rise to heaven)
Oh may your soul rise to heaven
May your soul rise to heaven before the devil knows you’re dead
sad picture frames lying angry on the floor
Remind me how i said i’d hang you up the year before
Morning is barging in without a knock
As i pine for the day when i’m not so overwhelmed
And overlooked like so much good advice
I can seize today tomorrow
May your soul rise to heaven
May your soul rise to heaven
Oh may your soul rise to heaven
May your soul rise to heaven (may your soul rise to heaven)
Oh may your soul rise to heaven
May your soul rise to heaven before the devil knows you’re dead
I’ve actually gotten to know many more of my neighbors because of the storm, and even like almost all of them. I’m bummed that I didn’t get any good pictures of the aftermath other than the chimney that fell on a friend’s car.
Kev, I hope you don’t get a very bad volcano or earthquake experience, just enough to say you had one. One advantage of hurricanes is that we can see them coming thanks to radar, unlike earthquakes.
Do you have electricity yet? I watched your webcam that night so I saw your silliness! Most of the time I couldn’t understand you when you had the mask on.
FUTILE PAIN
AGONY INCARNATE
HOPELESS CRUSHING DESIRE
EMOTION SEARING
DESTROYING LIFE
THE VOID SWALLOWS CARE
ABSENCE OF PAIN
AGONY SUBSIDES
HOPELESS IS ACCEPTED
EMOTIONAL INDIFFERENCE
WORTHLESS LIFE
THE VOID IS EMBRACED
TL -sometime before Jan 1993
yes, it would seem i have quite the history of being positive and chipper about life and the future. I’m not sure I should have been putting that kind of material in the hands and minds of young girls though. (i’m guessing you pulled that from a letter.)
Please. I’m pretty sure it was after I sent to you one of my ever so cheerful poems. In case you dont recall….DEPRESSION
The Mixing, The Mashing,
Whirling And Twirling
Darkness, Cold And Sharp.
Crying, Wandering, Hating,
Cold, Shivering, Painful Chills,
Pain
Tears And Fears
Mumbo Jumbo
The Blood, The Yells, The painful Smells
Toss And Turn, Back And Forth
Sweat And Freeze
On My Knees, Now I pray
“Lord Be With Me, Help Me,
Show Me, Guide Me.
Forgive Me, Love Meâ€
Tears Of Joy, Smile Of Relief,
Forgiven, Saved, Helped,
And Loved
Emotions Change, Come And Go
Tear You Up , Make You Crazy
Bring You Down
Thoughts Confuse
Bring Pain, Bring Tears And Rain
Sad Songs, Broken Hearts
Painful Poetry
Sharing The Pain, Telling Others,
Letting It All Out
Some Care, Some Don’t
Some Feel The Same
Some Get Better, Some Get Worse,
Some Just Give Up