well, here we are. 20 years to the day that tamara confessed to me she was having an affair. so much has happened since then. fortunately, i haven’t had to deal with or think about tamara for a long time. nor with this blog. haha! i’ve had a lot of other bad stuff happen in my life (and a lot of good too!), but her actions and choices during that time show up near or at the top of sh!t when i look over my life. not that what she did was the most painful thing, or the worst even — though it was supremely difficult to process and get through at the time. no, it gets high billing because it wasn’t the universe acting, or random chance — it was a person i had brought close to me, that i had loved and trusted, making a choice, then choice after choice, to fsck me over and not be fair with me, mostly due to selfishness. i really thought she had good character. i was wrong. and i paid the price, both financially and emotionally. and this blog exists because i wanted a place to process and share what i was going through. and now it is a time capsule of a very painful event in my life, and how i (mostly poorly) dealt with it.