the coworker i “like to take weird pictures of” and a couple of other guys from work took a trip out of the country over the holidays. in addition to coming back with some nice pics of examples of engrish, he brought back grab bags of asian snacks. most of it was okay or good, but the centerpiece was certainly the small snack bag of dried minnows…or some kind of small fish. some of them even had a sesame seed or two stuck to them, perhaps in an attempt to show that these really were for consumption.
i don’t like fish, but i decided in the name of cultural diversity i should try one. plus a chinese coworker was popping the things like they were chips. i made the mistake of smelling them before eating one. they smelled like minnows. i popped it in my mouth and chewed. oh. my. G-d. it was like someone had unloaded a whole bait bucket of super-concentrated powdered minnows…a veritable explosion of the essence of fish…inside my mouth. i’m not sure what kind of difference the stray sesame seed or two could possibly make. i couldn’t swallow it but i didn’t want to spit it out, so i grabbed a strawberry collon biscuit roll (another imported snack) and popped it into my mouth. where i created strawberry and minnow biscuit mush, which i forced down my throat. gah.
so much for my foray into foreign cultures. i would say my facial contortions were really sad, except another coworker — after having involuntary contortions as well — began scraping at his tongue with his fingers. so compared to that, i was perfectly civilized.
oh yeah, also yesterday t.u. won the football national championship. congrats! being an aggie, i don’t really root for t.u. unless they’re playing a team that isn’t from Texas. basically, i root for the aggies and any team from Texas that is playing an out-of-state team.
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failure is not an option. it's a requirement.
LOL — This brings back memories of similar experiences. English menu translations overseas have been sources of many laughs and more than a little confusion. After a year or so in Germany, I often better understood the menus in German than their English translations despite my minimal knowledge of the language. Often the descriptions — at least as I understood the German — were different. In my last several months there, I found myself often speaking English like a German to those whose English was not too good.
With regard to the food, Terry, you are much braver than I am. I stopped short of trying the Koreans’ dried squid. This looked like roadkill to me as it was as flat and stiff as cardboard. It is often packaged in shrink wrap, which when opened gives off the pungent aroma of dirty sweat socks. The odor is best appreciated when someone opens a package on a hot, sweaty, crowded bus.
I can be happier with t.u.’s victory at my present distance as I don’t get hassled by any frenzied t-sips that want to flaunt it in my face. (Not all of them are so ill-mannered) It’s good for the state and the conference, so ultimately it is good for the Aggies as well.
You know, I’m not used to your blog making me laugh.
This entry is hysterical!
…Oh, and one more thing … are you INSANE?!?!?!
Icky. I mean it is bad enough that you did it and all, but then to come here and retell all of the gruesome details to the people that are nice enough to come here and read your blog.
::shudder::
Funny and gross. That is what you are.