well, friday was the court date for my divorce. it was supposed to be at 10am. so i may already be a “free man” and not even know it. how’s that? i never heard from my attorney, the worthless (yet highly paid) goober. so i have no idea if i’m legally divorced or not.
i had to get a cashier’s check for $450 and deliver it to tamara’s attorney’s office on friday, so i did it in the morning before going into work. i couldn’t help myself, and on it wrote “first we loose the shackles, then we wear the chains”. that’s a paraphrase from lsu’s song “shaded pain” (full lyrics below).
the whole day i also wore the t-shirt i got married in, under a long sleeve black dress shirt (like the one i got married in, but not the actual one). symbolism is important to me.
i still get angry every time i think of how much tamara and her attorney have taken advantage of me financially. it’s completely unfair, but the legal system isn’t set up to be fair to me in my situation. so i’m just screwed. and unfortunately, at some point tamara decided she should take me for what she could get instead of trying to be anywhere near fair. and of course this is beyond all of the emotional pain i’ve gone through because of her choices, which is still sometimes rather excruciating.
in yet another amazing cosmic coincidence (or higher intelligence, if you’re open to that sort of thing), river oaks is showing eternal sunshine of the spotless mind as their midnight movie this weekend. i was going to go last (friday) night because how perfect is it that the day i’m getting legally divorced river oaks just happens to be showing that particular movie, but i ended up staying out drinking after the technology bytes geek gathering. which seems just about as appropriate, i guess. but i’m going to go watch the movie tonight.
i think here in the not-too-distance future (since everything will be final) i’m going to post some of the details of the affair, along with links to stuff. maybe this truth will get out and be tied to the people involved. or at least be available on the internet for anyone to see, if they happen to find it.
Lifesavers Underground (LSU) – “Shaded Pain” – Shaded Pain
First we find the answer,
then we take the blame.
shaded pain
We put on all the masks,
and then we play the game.
shaded pain
What about love,
the love we never find?
Cut by the body,
forced to run and hide.
What about the human,
the human I am inside?
How can we be forgiven
if we don’t live out lives?
We throw off all the shackles,
then we wear the chains.
shaded pain
We find out who we are,
then we lose our name.
shaded pain