we (still) like the cars, the cars that go boom

well, today is the one year anniversary of my belair engine blowing up. it’s also the two year anniversary of my getting the car. funny how those fell on the same date. so i was hoping today would also be the day my mechanic called and said i could pick up my car. but, alas, it was not to be.
so…so far none of the good things i’d been hoping for have happened yet. but it’s just one day of a few possible days. however, i did get an unexpected surprise last night which was not on my list. of course, i’m still not sure if it’s something i should be happy or excited about or not. complexity can be good, or bad, or both. perhaps we shall see as events unfold (or don’t).
what i’d really prefer (if i’m getting to choose) is that i could get in a situation where someone is attracted to me, and i am likewise attracted to them, and we both are interested in developing a deepening relationship together. no messy complexity, no messy drama, no being run through a meat grinder on an emotion roller coaster. it seems like something is always screwed up with situations for me on the rare occasions when when they come around. that’s life though. or at least, that’s mine.

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