the 10th anniversary that wasn’t there

today would have been my 10th wedding anniversary. what better way to note its passing than a description of our wedding written by my ex-wife, years ago, for a german class she was taking in college…
aufsatz #2, theme #2
i don’t know that one single day is the most important of my life. my wedding day is a contender/possibility.
many girls dream of/imagine their weddings from childhood, but i did not. i wanted to marry, but my thoughts on the actual wedding were vague. when my (now) husband and i set a date, i needed to think quickly. who knew weddings were such difficult work? (probably all of those girls who thought about them from childhood!)
we married on june 20, 1998 in perryville, maryland. my husband is from Texas, but i am from delaware, northeastern maryland, and southeastern pennsylvania. my friends have less money than his friends, so we married in maryland so mine would not have to fly. the reception was first. the wedding happened at a historic revolutionary war tavern. music played; guests talked and laughed. we ate mexican food and drank blue cream soda, dr. pepper, and big red. after sunset, we performed the ceremony. the bridal attendants carried candles on candle-lined paths to a gazebo on the susquehanna river. they wore black dresses and suits. my husband wore all black — pants, jacket, shirt, tie. i wore a simple white gown with black trim and a wreath of black roses on my head. my veil and train had little roses sewn to them. on my feet, i wore my black combat boots! after all, i needed to be comfortable and be myself. the ceremony was simple but meaningful.
afterwards, my husband and i drank wine from the same glass and then broke it (a jewish custom). the guests ate cake — chocolate wedding cake and a Texas-shaped groom’s cake. we smoked cigars and burned sparklers. everyone signed our wedding covenant (another jewish custom).
my wedding was not important because it was a party. it was important because it started my new life. the agreement i made at my wedding was very, very serious. my world is different now. perhaps my wedding day may have been the most important day of my life.
so there you go. i found that awhile back in some of (the massive amount of) her stuff she left behind for me to deal with for her, and saved it for this occasion.
last night i went to crescent city and read some from a hank williams biography i own. i just happened to run across this excerpt from a letter fred rose wrote to hank in 1948, after audrey decided to divorce hank, and hank wasn’t living so well:

remember that women are revengeful and do all in their power to wreck a man when they separate from him and the only way to win is for the man to become successful instead.

ha ha. ha. as mike knott sang on strip cycle: “am i winnin’ something?”

2 comments on “the 10th anniversary that wasn’t there”

  1. “remember that women are revengeful and do all in their power to wreck a man when they separate from him and the only way to win is for the man to become successful instead.”
    How true that it.

  2. A suggestion from someone who has been there, done that: now that you’ve saved the text in your blog, burn the actual letter. I promise, you’ll feel better after you do it.

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