pigs and poignancy

i found out on thursday the attorneys set up a mediation session to see if we could settle things before the court day (june 27). originally set for wednesday morning (june 22), it’s now tuesday afternoon (june 21). so i get to have my 7 year wedding anniversary on june 20 (7 being a holy number), then go to divorce mediation the next day. the only thing better would be if the mediation was actually on the anniversary date, but this is good enough to make its point.
in other news, jennifer broke up with me last night. i won’t say that i didn’t see the signs that such a thing was possible at any moment. but i sort of hoped her actions were over things that could be dealt with and worked through. it sucks since i have had such strong feelings for her for so much of my life, but we pretty much reenacted most of our high school days. except this time i had the guts to tell her how much i cared about her. so in some ways i’m glad i was able to deal with those regrets, and know that even now — years later — it was still an unequal situation with me being in the bad corner as regards unrequited emotions. but at least this time i said something and left little doubt as to the outcome of the situation.
in an incident that in my mind further validates the existence of a higher intelligence, while also proving He has a wicked sense of irony, after the breakup speech i went to use the bathroom. on the sink in the soap dish was a brand new, perfectly formed, realstic looking, pink pig soap. jennifer doesn’t like pigs. she doesn’t have any pig items in her house. when i talked about it she said she ran across it in some box somewhere (that i think was someone else’s) and decided to put it out. so what are the chances that at that perfect moment in time, when it’d never been there before, right after she told me she shouldn’t date me any more, i go in there and find the single most relevant symbol i relate to tamara, who i am about to be divorced from and am feeling emotional pain over, and this is my first attempt to move on? (she loved pigs, i bought her pig stuff, we had two pot bellied pigs, she thought she was a pig when she was little, etc.) i mean, really, what are the freaking chances? i mean, if that were to happen in a movie the audience would balk at the lack of realism of such a perfect symbolic moment. lucky me.

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