scribbled notes

i don't even know how long she's been gone. it's like i've woken up in bed and she's not here...because she's gone to the bathroom or something. but somehow i just...i just know she's never gonna come back to bed. if i could just reach over and touch her side of the bed i would know that it was cold, but i can't. i know i can't have her back, but i don't want to wake up in the morning thinking she's still here. i lie here not knowing how long i've been alone. so how...how can i heal? how am i supposed to heal if i can't feel time?

[...]

you know, i can remember so much. the feel of the world...and her. she's gone. and the present is trivia, which i scribble down as fscking notes.

(excerpts from memento, which i just watched again)

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