i hate it when i think an illness is getting better and then it starts getting worse. usually that means the onset of a sinus infection. so after sleeping until around noon, i decided to go to the doctor today. usually some antibiotics do a fast number on a sinus infection, and i wanted to feel well this weekend so i could execute and enjoy my weekend plans. what plans, you ask?
well, saturday i'm planning on heading to swiss alp, Texas. (that's about 10 miles south of la grange.) you see, they reopened the dance hall there that had been closed for a number of years (i've heard over 20 years), and saturday night the wild river band is going to be playing. my brother and some of his friends are supposed to be heading down from austin and meeting me there. so hopefully it'll be a grand time watching a good western swing band carry on the tradition that entertained lots of Texans back in the day, and in one of the places they used to do so.
so, hopefully my breaking down and going to a doctor and getting medication will not be in vain.
this evening i managed to rewatch thumbsucker and will be sending it on its way back to netflix. two down, one to go.
while waiting for my prescriptions to be filled today, i headed to high times and bought some incense and a nice incense holder. i always feel somewhat out of place going into those types of establishments, because i've really got about 0% of that culture in my makeup. but it's a good place to go for incense and an array of holders.
i was going to say it's funny how easy it still is to be reminded of the major trauma my life went through with the failure of my marriage and the loss of my best friend, but it's not all that funny and it's not really that hard to see why it'd still be easy.
in a conversation somewhat recently someone told me i should be happy being alone, or perhaps it was content...but that seems much easier to say or state as a goal than to actually be able to reach. which doesn't mean i'm never happy or content, but i miss the companionship and familiarity that existed with what i fully believed would be a lifetime relationship. when a worldview like that is shattered, it's really hard to not miss what you knew before, what you believed in. even if the partner of that worldview no longer exists in this world, or at least not in the same state (intended figuratively). though i believe i've gotten over most of the emotional pain and trauma of the event, starting back at the beginning -- at a point that i never relished (and was really never able to function at, to be honest) -- is a difficult and daunting task. makes one almost wish one could be happy and/or content being alone. :)